Below are the 12
planks required to achieve complete civility and utopia:
1) Don't say anything that might
be construed as negative. You don't want to offend
2) Don't be emotional or act too
3) Rights and
freedoms are not as important as getting along. They
just aren't worth it if it causes too much stress or anxiety.
4) Shake their hand warmly and
5) When people are disagreeable
or controversial, ostracize them, avoid them, and hope for
their involuntary commitment to a psychiatric facility one day
6) Ensure the candidate you
support has the most money, is the most eloquent, and the most
7) Never raise your voice or get
8) Always turn the other cheek —
no matter what.
9) If anyone
makes you feel uncomfortable, run away.
10) Be moderate
and compromise whenever you are asked to do so.
11) Follow your
leaders without question. They know what's best.
12) Think happy
thoughts. Think happy thoughts. Think happy thoughts.